Could it be that you and me are the lucky ones

Southward winds and electrical currents carried me to Rome for New Year's - S and I arm in arm in the last few minutes of this December on Gianicolo hill at Piazza Garibaldi, marble ruins and catholic churches laid out in front of us like diamonds on a chessboard.

Flashes of red and white and blue lighting up the velvet night, I'm anxiously waiting for him to call me and an hour past midnight he finally does. "I love you", he says with his most soothing voice and my tell-tale heart breaks in to a million little pieces but it doesn't hurt enough to cry. I wish I could spend another year with him but phantoms and ghosts from my displaced past are calling out to me, causing my blood to freeze and my hands to shiver.

My tired head heavy from Prosecco and Champagne and explosions, I close my eyes in the shimmering darkness and there are the lucid memories of everything I tried so hard to forget. I've kept it hidden inside my self for so long now, hoping it would all go away but it never does and nothing ever really changes but the color of my childhood dreams.